Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Day Treatment Is Coming

I received a call from Boo Boo Bears counselor at Heron Creek, his therapeutic school.  Apparently, the principal contacted our OHP Care Coordinator's Supervisor, to make sure he followed through on the referral to a day treatment facility for Boo Boo Bear.  It felt great to have that kind of support from an unlikely place.  As you can imagine, it's not a "normal" process for a school principal to contact anyone from the insurance provider.  I am grateful.

Now, I have to go to these day treatment facilities and interview staff.  There are two places here in Portland that Boo Boo Bear could end up.  Lifeworks and Perry Center (Trillium).  Both have their positives and negatives about them, and I'd like to go with the best facility.  This is a day treatment ONLY, so he will be with me every morning and after.  The school district will provide transportation to and from.

I'm hopeful for change.  Boo Boo Bear deserves a better quality of life, and so do I.  My daughter Maiya has been very patient and she certainly needs a break from all this havoc.  Boo Boo Bear, has the potential to be an amazing, lovely man.  He's so darn handsome and funny and VERY talented.  If only he could express himself in ways other that anger.  Time will tell.

I'll fill y'all in as I get more information.


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Day After Team Meeting

Boo Boo Bear's team meeting was yesterday.  We discussed his current increasing needs in the home.  Over the weekend he managed to break the trim around his bedroom door and almost had his entire door pushed out of the frame.  An emergency call to a contractor fixed that.  four hours and a 1/2" piece of primed plywood over his bedroom side of the door and Viola!

Moving forward we have an appointment with Dane Borg, an adolescent clinical psychologist here in Portland, Oregon.  He did Boo Boo Bear's initial evaluation, but he was so young then that much has changed.  I'm hopeful that a current evaluation will reveal Boo Boo Bear's deficiencies and give us some insight into what makes him "tick".

Meanwhile, I'm tired, but hopeful that things are getting better.  Although there's no sign of that happening at this point.  I know God is in control and it is not His plan for Boo Boo Bear, or me for that matter, to live in this state of disarray.


Sunday, June 3, 2012

40th Birthday Follow Up

     My bestie, Heidi, had this beautiful 40th birthday cake made for me.  It's so pretty and I was sooooooo surprised.  It took three days and two birthday parties to eat it all.

     My Mom made an amazing tiara from a lush red leather that she tooled "happy birthday" into.  Each side has plumes of feathers form her Guinea Hens and a shiny red heart rock.  It's hard to describe, but super cute!  In all, I received two tiaras, confirming I am in fact a real princess!  I am blessed to have the friends I have in my life.

     I am equally blessed to have made the friends I have here on blogger.  Many of you have be   thoughtful in your posts to me, and all of you have made a difference in my life.

     Tomorrow is the big meeting at Heron Creek, Boo Boo Bear's school.  We'll be talking about day treatment as an option.  I open to ideas they have, but I really need to see movement in Boo Boo Bear, and I think a facility might be good for him.  I'm worried about the not so great parts of it too, but I have to consider all options for him.  Ultimately I know God's plan is in motion and I'm a willing participant.

     My sister has spent more time at the house than usual and has allowed me to have some much needed down time.  Ahhh, respite.  Sweet respite.  She's struggling with him as much as I am,  
but at least I'm not doing it all alone.

    Have a GREAT week!


Thursday, May 31, 2012

Just An Update

     I got a text this morning from Boo Boo Bear's therapist, saying that she is recommending a day treatment facility.  If this happens, it will be through the summer and into the school year.  He would actually attend school at the treatment facility.

     I'm super nervous about this.  I do believe Boo Boo Bear needs an intervention.  He is currently receiving intensive services, but they aren't working the way then should.  I'm concerned that he'll be around children with worse behavior than his, that he'll be scared, that this environment will become his "norm".  But I'm equally worried that without a serious intervention with therapy, he'll continue to back slide on his progress and I could lose him altogether.

Please just keep us in your prayers.


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Reluctantly Writting

     It's been about a week since I've posted here.  I'm super stressed and I think a little depressed.  Boo Boo Bear's behavior is escalating daily.  I'm questioning my ability right now.  I'm tired and angry that life is so hard right now.
     Boo Boo Bear has been with me for a number of years.  Two years ago his behavior was so extreme that he was going to be temporarily moved to a residential treatment facility if immediate progressed wasn't achieved.  Thankfully, through medications and intensive therapy, we made major progress in a relatively short period of time, which allowed him to stay with me and my daughters.

     Here we are, two years later, and out of the blue, the old Boo Boo Bear returns.  My day begins with an early morning "eff you bit-- get my breakfast" and ends with a "I'm going to effing kill you, you effing bit--".  There are holes in his wall again, the one year old bedroom door is almost broken through to the outside, and my nerves are shot.

     We have skill builders come to the home three times a week and his therapist is here twice a week.  Additionally, I'm in constant phone communication with his therapist, who is in constant communication with his psychiatrist and we aren't getting anywhere.  He can barely handle half days at school, daycare is OUT of the question, I have zero family to lend a hand and I'm feeling really stuck.  I have Bible study group at my home every Thursday and even that is possibly being moved to a more peaceful location.

     I want to cry, but I have fear in letting my emotions get that low.  I'm struggling just to be nice and patient with him, and that's not good.  Boo Boo Bear needs serious help.  I need light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm taking him Monday to a prayer room/healing room. 

Normally I'm positive in my writing, but I'm hanging on by a string right now.

Accepting all prayer...


Thursday, May 24, 2012

What Was I Thinking!

     We left for vacation this last Sunday morning. Myself, Maiya and Boo Boo Bear, were invited to go to Seaside, Oregon for a little retreat to a beach side condo with a good friend of mine. I knew there was some risk involved in taking Boo Boo Bear away from the routine and the security of home, but I really needed a change of scenery and a break from the monotony. Besides, what kid wouldn't be thrilled to have sand on demand and a heated pool?

     Half the way to the beach, Boo Boo Bear began to tantrum. Mostly he just wanted to hit Maiya with his plethora of toys and to demand that she allow him to do so. Of course, this Mama ain't playin', and immediately pulled over to allow him the chance to hand over the weapons of mass destruction. He refused and was offered a ride in my friends husbands car. Well, maybe not offered, let's just say it was strongly suggested. Relieved that we would make it the rest of the way with my daughters limbs intact, we once again commenced the hour and a half journey to our beach getaway.

     Once we got there, my visions of sandcastles and starfish were abruptly aborted. We arrived just in time for a spring storm to crash any thoughts of a sandy adventure. And worse yet, the realization of all of us confined to a condo with my darling Boo Boo Bear became a daunting reality.

     To make a VERY long story short, Boo Boo Bear's tantrums matched the bellowing storm in every way. Unpredictable and yet we knew it would be blustery.  Both storms continued throughout the four day event with each moment a lashing, raging, pounding, and exhausting experience.  I couldn't wait to get home and away from the storm, both varieties.

     We did make it home safely, mostly because my darling Boo Boo Bear slept like a baby.  Maiya and I were, and as of today still are exhausted.  We agreed that in the future, condo vacations are best meant for the two of us.  Boo Boo Bear is more of a camping type of guy anyway.  We have lots planned for this summer, camping galore!

Casey Everly


Saturday, May 19, 2012

Another Vacation

     It might seem like I vacation a lot, but rest assured, my life is no more glamorous than anyone elses.  Truth is my good friend has a time share and invited my family to spend a few days in Sea Side, Oregon.  She must be crazy wanting to vacation with my brood, but who am I to suggest she reconsider?  Honestly, this vacation is much needed and couldn't be better timing.

      Boo Boo Bear's behaviors have really escalated over the last two weeks.  I don't know what is going on with him.  He's angry and tantruming constantly.  When I send him to his bedroom he gets so mad he kicks and hits and is constantly trying to break his bedroom window.  Thankfully I installed 1/2" thick plexiglass over the glass window (with DHS approval).  I can't figure out what is triggering this behavior.

     I'm also in the process of selling my two cars and purchasing one that hopefully meets all our needs.  This is a very stressful process for me.  I've owned my prized Durango for several years now, paid cash for it.  It was my dream car, bright red with creamy beige leather and all the trimmings.  It's a bitter sweet situation.  The company I used to work for paid my insurance and all the gas.  Now that I'm no longer employed there, they aren't paying my expenses, duh.  But, now I can't afford the gas.  So,in addition to owning the Durango,  I bought a car, a Saturn to be exact.  It gets great gas mileage, but doesn't have the seating capacity of the Durango.  So each vehicle meets one of our needs, but neither can meets them independently.  Super duper long story short, I can't afford both of them long term, and I have to sell them.

     All this is happening at the same time that Boo Boo Bear's behaviors are escalating.  Change is difficult for me, especially change that has such a huge financial impact on my family.  I am after all a single Mom and foster mom, money is tight and there's little room for mistakes.  So, vacation time will hopefully give me some space to consider therapeutic options for Boo Boo Bear, and my vehicle decisions.  Wish me well and if you feel like sending some prayers our way, we'd appreciate it.

Casey Everly