Saturday, April 21, 2012

My Son Has Two Moms

     This situation is as unconventional as it sounds  Although we do have fun with it and have even made our own family song, "my two moms".   Yes, my son has two moms, but it's not what you might think.  There's no step mom and there's no "partner".  My son, our son,  is also my nephew and foster child. 

     Through a series of events, Boo Boo Bear came to me as a small infant at 2 1/2 months old.  He knows where and who he came from and that it wasn't me that packed that chubby little bundle in my belly.  He has a baby book that was made especially for him, that shows both moms from the pregnancy through early childhood.  He's only known life this way and we've worked very hard to be as open and honest with him as we can.

     His bio mom is mama Sara, or if you ask Boo Boo Bear,  just plain mom.  I've heard stories that in a herd of sheep, if a mother sheep calls her little lamb, that the lamb somehow knows it's his mom calling that it can actually differentiate the mama's call through all the other baas and cries.  Or when one of the of lambs are crying, its mama knows which lamb cry is hers, and runs to his aid.  It's kinda like that for us.  We're both mom or mama, but the tone in Boo Boo Bears voice helps us identify which mom he's asking for.  It's kind of  a cool way of communication.  It's like we have our own secret language that really only consists of one word.

     My sister, Sara and I work dilligently to parent Boo Boo Bear as two mom's.  Co-parenting is not an easy job, but is crucial to the sucess of our child and children from divorce.  Sara has been back with us for nearly two years now, after a long leave of absense.  She's become an amazing woman and a geat mother.  Because of circumstances, Boo Boo Bear will remain with me permanently, but Sara spends every weekend with us and is always available for our son. 

     There have been many struggles, some probably obvious and some I wasn't expecting.  Having a two parent house hold was new to me and having another mom for Boo Boo Bear felt exciting, was a huge relief and also stressful.  We've bumped heads so many times, I swear I should have a goose egg the size of Texas!  However, our mama raised some strong willed, thick headed gals, so despite our issues,  we've survived each other, with love of course.

    Strangely, Boo Boo Bear plays us like any child would in a divorce situation.  "mom said I could", "mom doesn't make me do that", you know the drill.  We've built a united front, and stick to it religiously.  We bicker later if necessary.  At the end of the day, Boo Boo Bear is one lucky dude to have us both in his life, and God knows, Sara and I need each other to make it through his.

Casey Everly


  1. What a beautiful story. My son has two moms as well. I am his biological mother and then he has his adoptive mother. The more the merrier :) you are amazing. Never forget it.

  2. Thank you. A lot!!! We have a weird situation, but it's working for us. She actually was incarcerated for the majority of the time I've had him. But, the last stint in prison changed her, permanently. She has done so much work on herself and I couldn't be more proud. The first several years she wasn't involved in any way. The situation was really really bad. I had to protect him from her and bio dad. I'm so thankful to have my sister back and even more so for our kiddo. Her progress was truly a miracle.

    I'm so glad to know that you are a part of your childs life despite an adoption. That is so important. I know you know this, but he's so blessed to have that connection with you and his adopted mother.

    I wish you all the best!!!